Negative Space

Fortune Cookie Wisdom

2006-02-08T14:51:00.000-05:00

I want to get a job writing fortunes. But my fortunes would be more about pointing out insecurities.

Yes, people stare at your thighs.
No, people don't really like you much.
That haircut makes your face look fat.

Things like that. I'm not sure why, I just think it would be better than You appreciate people that show you good will. Of course I appreciate people that show me good will! Who doesn't? I got that one today. By mother once got Someone will ask you to do karaoke. Now that's a good fortune. When did fortunes stop being about things that will happen to you and become about what you feel? I don't need a piece of paper in a cookie to tell me what I feel. Therapy, perhaps, but not sugar cookies in weird shapes.

If I were you, I'd lock the door when you go to bed tonight. See? that's about the future. It's not saying what will happen, but it puts the idea that something could happen, and that person will lock their door tonight, whereas they may have forgotten otherwise. It's a public service. Check both ways before you cross the street when you leave here. Again, public service.

Anyway, there you go. Not quite 6 months, was it? Maybe I'll post another, but don't get your hopes up too much.

Back in black

2006-01-30T19:48:00.000-05:00

Look at me! That's right, I'm blogging. For the first time in 6 months. (yes, I had to stop and use my fingers) (no, i'm not proud) No one will read this, however, as 6 months of the same post (no matter how delightful the post may be) will pretty much drive away your entire readership. So be it. I forge on.

We're living in Atlanta again, right in the heart of Little 5 Points. This is the best location ever. We have a huge screened front porch for watching crazy drunk people and a big place that we're sharing with my sister. She tends to get a little crazy drunk herself from time to time, now that i mention it...

Sarah's working for SCAD, teaching fashion. If you know her, you know this is kind of what she was meant to do. bring fashion to the masses. Teach people what they should be wearing, why, and how to make it. Although this quarter she's also teaching fashion history, so I guess she's also telling them what they would have worn in, oh, 1000 A.D.

I'm still looking for a job. If you know of one in the Atlanta area, please let me know, as I'm open to doing most anything that allows me to get out of the house and keep most of my clothes on.

I'm sure this will be the only post I throw up here for another 6 months, so try to read it in small chunks. That way it will last longer. That advice probably would have been more helpful at the start of the post, wouldn't it?

Wouldn't it be Ironic?

2005-08-03T12:42:00.000-04:00

I play a lot of Blizzard's World of Warcraft. It's a video game. Since I know no one in Savannah, it is pretty much my social outlet. I realize how sad that is. However, it is now entirely possible that all this time spent playing video games could very well pay off. I have applied for a job as a game designer on this very game. It's not like I don't have a ton of experience...

We're still (7 months and counting) trying to sell the jeep and this family that bought the house across the street may just buy it. See, they only come into town for 1 month each year, the rest of the year they live in "another country". (This according to Jason, the man of the house) They don't like having to rent a minivan for the month they are here so they want to take a look at the jeep. What kind of work can this guy be in that requires him to come live in Savannah for a month out of the year? What kind of cash must he be pulling in to buy a 250,000 house for a month a year? We're very concerned about all this. Personally, I think he's in the CIA.

The Creative Circus called me yesterday after having a look at my portfolio to ask me why exactly I wanted to go back to school. That made me feel pretty good. Apparently they like the work and would love to have me come study with them. At the same time, what does this really say for SCAD? By the way, I told the CC guy that I didn't want to be a programmer and that that seemed to be what everyone was looking for. At this point I'm drawn to CC for a couple of reasons: (1) they claim to have job placements for over 97% of graduates in the first year. I can get behind that. (2) It would allow me to work more in a creative field where I feel much more comfortable instead of trying to keep up with new programming languages and the like. (3) After only 27 years, I'm finally getting the hang of this whole school thing. I'm actually getting kinda good at it, I think, and would like to continue. I think this topic deserves it's own post later, in fact.

Zoe has had her surgery and has pretty much recovered. She had the last of the sutures out Monday and now she looks only slightly less like Frankendog. She still has 4 rather large and unattractive scars. The reason it took 2 trips to get all the sutures removed is that they somehow missed the 4 large, unsightly gashes the first time. My question would have to be How? I mean, she's a big dog and if you could find the spaying sutures, you pretty much had to go right past the mastectomy sutures. Sketchy, to say the least. At least it was free.

You know?

2005-07-26T11:19:00.000-04:00

You know what's scary?
Not having a real job, not having any prospects of a real job, and getting bills.

You know what sucks?
Feeling like even though you have a Masters degree hanging on your wall you're not qualified to do much of anything in your chosen field.

You know how to fix these problems?
Well, do you?

You know what's really irritating?
A 90 pound dog laying on your feet while you're trying to sleep. It tends to put me in a bad mood for at least half of the upcoming day...

You know what really pisses me off?
Getting used. People in my current job have made me promises of greater things with more money while getting me to do things for them and as it turns out, they only wanted some crap to get done.

You know how to cheer up a depressed woman?
I'm not sure myself, since I'm about as low as she is at this point and neither of us really sees an end to this jobless misery.

You know what REALLY is funny?
The fact that, after an undergrad degree and a Masters, I find myself looking at The Creative Circus' Art Direction program-another 2 years of school.

You know what else is funny?
The Creative Circus website doesn't run on Mozilla.

You know anyone hiring designers of any kind?
In this household we can design most anything with the exception of Industrial Design. We can't fabricate shit.

You know what is starting to piss me off now?
The whiny nature of this post...

You know what I'm gonna do?
Post it anyway since I haven't put up anything in a while.

A Most Bizarre Dialog

2005-07-16T14:16:00.000-04:00

The setting is our bedroom, in the middle of the night. Apparently I had fallen asleep watching TV.

"Honey, wake up" with much shaking of my shoulders.

Wha? why is she waking me up?

"Hey. Get up and take off your pants."

What? Did she just ask me to take off my pants?

"I'm serious. You're gonna be miserable. Take off your pants."

Why on earth would she be getting horny in the middle of the night?

"Come on, just take off your pants and then you can go back to sleep."

My wife is really weird. Why would she get all horny and then let me go back to sleep?

At that point, having removed my pants, I went back to sleep, somewhat more protective of my newly undressed parts. Upon waking this morning, I learned that I had fallen asleep on my back upside down in the bed with my feet propped about 2 feet in the air against the wall. My wife was not at all horny, she was simply looking out for me. I really think I do the most interesting things when I am half asleep. When I'm awake I'm dull by comparison.

Crazy Magnet

2005-07-09T10:32:00.000-04:00

Apparently, mildly disturbed and completely insane people alike are fond of me. I don't know how this happened. I mean, I usually do my best to put out a feeling of mild anger and dislike to most strangers, but I'm losing my touch it seems.

A couple of weeks ago a woman came up to me and a coworker and began ranting. I blocked her out all the while looking at her and thinking,"Wow, you are one irritating woman". Unfortunately, after about 5 minutes of my coworker trying to calm her down, I heard her say, "You should be more like your friend here. He's really listening". Curses! What has this woman been talking about again? She left the situation really feeling like she had connected with me. I left it feeling faintly ill and irritated.

Then last night this completely crazy man came up to us and began telling us how radio was destroying the lives of young black men everywhere and that it was our fault. (We were at a Blockbuster video representing a top 40 station) He then went on to tell us that he teaches teachers how to teach and students how to take standardized tests. He asked our ages and why we hadn't gone to school. Without asking if we'd been to school. When he found out my age, education, and marital status, he proceeded to talk to me for 30 minutes about word roots and suffixes and how I should go buy a dictionary and read it cover to cover. There was also some story about his friend who was a writer for tv shows but has been blackballed so now he hires other people to write for him in some cult-sounding collective in California. Oh yeah, and how he's in a group of "Vagabond Intellectuals" with Samuel L Jackson and Spike Lee.

What do I do to encourage these people? I mean, if I saw me standing outside a Blockbuster or Kroger I'd just keep on going. But then, if I saw anyone outside a Blockbuster or Kroger I'd keep going. Perhaps my air of disdain and anger is fading over time and I need some way to reinforce it before everyone thinks that I want to talk to them and care about what they have to say.

Food

2005-07-07T14:05:00.000-04:00

My sister moved in with us for a few months not too long ago. (She has since moved out and to Martha's Vineyard) My sister is a fantastic cook who really enjoys cooking. Before she lived with us, the Mrs. and I subsisted mainly on things that could be picked up (or prepared) in under 10 minutes. I had really hoped that the love of cooking possessed by my younger sibling would rub off on me, but alas, I find myself eating pizza and cooking pasta again now. It's not that I don't like cooking particularly. It's just that I don't like standing in the kitchen by myself, or, even worse, with 2 dogs and 2 cats tangling me up.

For a long time I thought that when I started forcing myself to cook every night I would truly be grown up and an adult. I'm beginning to see, however, that this isn't going to happen. (The cooking, not the growing up.) (I hope) So I have pretty much decided that we're destined to be one of those couples that eat out almost every meal. I know that the wife won't be cooking anything anytime soon. (And I don't really mind. I love her but cooking is not her strength.) This doesn't make us any less adult, it just makes us less rich. But if we're okay with that and expect that, I don't see a problem.

Happy Birthday!

2005-07-02T09:55:00.000-04:00

To my lovely (and young) wife a happy birthday. I love you and love being with you. Enjoy your day.

Greener Grass

2005-06-30T13:38:00.000-04:00

A few years back, I was working in a crappy job and wasn't doing anything that really interested me. I was also pretty tired of the 9 to 5 grind and wanted more freedom in my day. So I went to grad school and got myself a Masters. Now I have no money and no job.

I want a 9 to 5. I want something fixed so that I know where I'm gonna be when and what I'll be doing. I'm happy to not have a ton of work to do at night or on the weekend (since I'm graduated) and I'm keen to continue that trend while also holding down a regular job that pays me money.

I find it pretty funny that no matter what I am doing, I kinda wish I could be doing something else. Really, right now, though, all I want to be doing is pulling in a steady paycheck that keeps us afloat. I'm not looking for the greatest career opporunity in the world (although I wouldn't turn it down), just something that I can get comfortable with and can use to push myself towards other, more career and life changing things. It always seems to be easier to find a job when you have a job.

At the same time, I love seeing my wife all day and hanging out with her. She's fun. That's why I married her. But I'd give up those weekdays of nothing really to do for weekends and nights without this dark cloud hanging over me.

What does this say?

2005-06-28T19:20:00.000-04:00

Okay, so I'm working a crappy part time job while I search for a real job, true, but what exactly should I make of this?

My boss's boss came to me and another person working the same job I have. He said he had 2 jobs to get us both some hours. He wanted me to input the weekend's songs for one of the stations (basically data entry) and wanted the other girl to design some posters for the building filled with useful information that he wanted to look "very nice and professional".

Now, this coworker is a very nice person and very good at her job, but her degree is in marketing and her focus is in radio. I, on the other hand, have a Masters from an institution with the words art and design in the name of the place. Needless to say, I felt somewhat slighted and a renewed energy to find myself a real job. Or even a better crappy one.

A Little Tip

2005-06-28T19:17:00.000-04:00

For the guys out there...

When your wife/girlfriend complains that she is feeling not so well and mentions that her period is late, the correct answer is NOT, "dude, you are SO pregnant".

Just thought you should know. And yes, those were my words exactly. I don't know what came over me...

Open mouth, insert foot

2005-06-25T14:14:00.000-04:00

Okay, so I was wrong. I wasn't moving offices around, I was moving about 300 50-75lb boxes from the old building to the new one. It took forever and I've possibly damaged my back. But I did get an amazing piece of wall art out of it. The thing is 11'6" x 3'6". It's freaking huge. But it was hand drawn in the 50's. Very nice.

I'm going back on Monday to finish up the moving and then at a later date will be moving 2 offices. Hey, work is work and I get paid for all of it, so I'm not complaining.

Anyway, I woke up today to pouring rain and some Ben Harper. Shaping up to be a very nice Saturday. Just relaxing my back and playing some video games.

Why?

2005-06-22T18:00:00.000-04:00

/begin sarcastic ranting/

Why is it that my boss finds it to be perfectly acceptable to call me at 4:00 on Thursday and ask me to work from 7:45 to about 7:45 on Friday? I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm happy for the hours, but a little bit of advance warning would be nice. It's not like the work just snuck up on them. They've been planning to move some people from one office to a new office for a long time now. In fact I was supposed to help move this stuff about a week ago, but it was cancelled then.

And really, how long can moving 2 small offices worth of stuff take? I'm now scheduled for about 12 hours tomorrow and another full 8 hour day on Friday. I can certainly MAKE it take that long, but this is really only about 3-4 hours worth of work.

These people have recently fired the marketing director and the promotions director and eliminated the positions. We are a communications company that thrives on marketing and promotions but we can't afford to pay for people to do these jobs, so we underpay other people to do these jobs as well as their own. I wonder where all the money could possibly be going?

/end sarcastic ranting/

Oklahoma Truck Supply

2005-06-21T12:02:00.000-04:00

Oklahoma Truck Supply
Originally uploaded by Negative Space.

Flickr allows you to upload pictures into your own space to be shared and also allows you to send those pictures into blogger. I've set up a Flickr account now and am giving it a go.

Welcome

2005-06-21T09:57:00.000-04:00

Welcome to Negative Space. I reserve the right to write about anything that I want to and grant you the right to walk away if you don't like it. I'm not going to try to censor myself like I have in blogs in the past and I feel better about this one as a result. I'm going to make myself write something everyday whether I feel like it or not, unlike other blogs in the past.

That being said, on to the content.

As it turns out, getting a Masters degree isn't all it's cracked up to be. I know that other folks can already attest to that fact, but I was still a little surprised. What really surprises me now is my fear of jobs. Not my fear of getting one - I have already proven I can't really find one - but my fear that once I do find one I will be under-qualified for it.

See, the institution that I chose to attend to get my Masters feels that the only thing they need to push as far as technical abilities is Macromedia Flash. That's all well and good as a side topic, but for actual base knowledge, HTML and JAVA would have been much better places to begin.

So I feel like I have decent knowledge of a technology that not everyone can use (Macromedia states that 98% of computer users have the Flash Player, but there's no way that's true) while I have very very limited knowledge of a technology that everyone uses everyday. Sucks to be me. Luckily, HTML isn't difficult.